Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Are Men Threatened By A Successful Woman?

Or Just Plain Ashamed?  It's A Big Conversation 
Published by The Duchesne

A survey done by Cosmo magazine earlier this year produced some not so unusual findings. Of 1500 men questioned, 1 in 3 would much prefer to have the wife at home rather than out and working. This means over 66% of men unless they're mega earners, like the idea of a double income in the household.
There is a condition attached to that though; men prefer to be the higher earner.

It seems men can never put their egos aside for a minute, and if they do, then rest assured it'll only be for a minute. A lot of talk is happening in the Black community regarding successful, beautiful black women not being able to find a suitable mate. The reason stated is:

" Men are intimated by a successful Black woman."

But how true is this? And is this a problem for only the Black community?


Sistas are doing it for themselves

Yes, women have taken the female revolution and ran with it like there is no tomorrow. Ever since women were allowed to earn for themselves, the goal was set. And that goal was to become what women call 'independent'. It has been achieved, men can't handle it, it's that simple.

It's not just the Black community. A lot of Caucasian relationships struggle or end due to jealousy of career on the husband's part. If we take a look at Hollywood, there are many Caucasian break ups that have been linked to the man not being able to handle how successful the woman's career is going.
Forget the race thing. This is a man thing.

Women are never jealous of their man's career. In fact, women will sacrifice theirs for their man. Why does the man have to be jealous of hers?
Men instinctively have a need to be the breadwinner or the main provider. They relish and want to be needed by their mate. The thought of knowing that their partner can 'dispose' of them at any time makes it very difficult for men to be comfortable with the idea of his woman earning higher.

High earning women are more likely to end up divorced says research
A 25 year study in America looking at the marriages and income of more than 2500 women showed women who made more than their men had a divorce rate 38% higher than others. The main reasons given were:

  • Financially independent women can leave a relationship easier
  •  Dented egos on both parts (man feels less of a man, woman sees man as less of a man
  •  Men who are more financially dependent on their partner are more likely to cheat (seeking to affirm their masculinity elsewhere where they feel they are looked upon as a man)
  •  Successful women may develop resentment towards their less earning partner therefore losing respect for him.

For a happy 'balance', Professor Jay Teachman of Western Washington University, who took part in the research, suggests there should be a 60:40 split in earnings.

But wait for it....... the man must be the higher earner! Go figure.

And then men wonder why women believe they are threatened by their success. The truth is, men are both threatened and ashamed; because at the end of the day, no man wants to be the man 'behind his woman'.

Questions or comments, please use the comment box or Contact page.

Photography, The Web


  1. Successful women full of themselves, think they shyt don't stink...dats why dere relationships fail. Hate them.

    1. go f urself u damn ignorant, insecure, womanizing jackass

    2. They're just jealous that they can't be successful. Probably can't even f themselves properly. I pity your so called existence you call life.

    3. Look asshole and piece of shit. There is nothing wrong with us women being successful. Because we hate you too. I hope you burn in hell, fuck yourself and kiss my ass. Ain't no woman want to date your ass. I rather be with a man who love me being successful.You are just jealous because you cannot be successful. Get over it.

  2. Ed Lawrence says on Facebook:

    Sheena...what can I say! Great article! I am impressed by a woman that stands tall in her endeavor! You must be one of them! I would love to have you place your site link in my new forum!

  3. I liked your most current post about women's status and their true!

  4. I don't think it's the 'threatening'. I think men start to feel a little embarassed when the woman is making more.
    In terms of career, yes men have big egos so it is only natural for them to feel jealousy when the woman's career is going better. Good article. Keep up the good work.

  5. love the article, couldnt be better put, they are indeed jealous of success, many, but the real man relishes hte success in his mate, and encourages more

  6. awesome post! More and more women are gaining power and positions in the workforce. Men do feel challenged and lost at the same time. For generations women we moms who stayed at home, now things have been changing more and more it is like culture shock to the men.

    1. So maybe you women should do a better job of telling men that him making less doesn't make the man less of a man, since times are changing. And believe it or not, polls have showed that MOST men don't making less than their woman.

      Times are changing. No man (and I'm a man), should be ashamed if a woman makes more. If anything it should lessen the burden and pressure on men to be the sole provider.

      One thing that's hypocritical about women, is that women demanded to make equal or more money but still insist that the man pay for dates. It makes women appear to be selfish as a gender. Women should also pay for dates as much as men, and maybe more if she makes more.

      I'm a 21st century guy, so I love when a woman treats and pays for something. Why should the man ALWAYS have to pay for everything.

    2. You'd be surprised at how often men actually refuse to let women pay for tge date because it makes them feel emasculated. My brother literally used to race his gf to atms and checkouts and try to grab the dinner bill first so she couldn't pay for anything. My boyfriend and I go fifty fifty. One of us pays for dinner every other time. From my experience the waitor wil actually hand the bill to the man instead of putting it on the table. Blame society and the egos of men not "women who appear to be selfish as a gender"

  7. I am happy for my woman to be successful. I just dont want her more succesful than me. What kind of man would want that? Come on

  8. Awesome, really like those articles on your blog. :) keep it up.

  9. yes,especially the ones with a sledge hammer in hand

  10. Thanks everyone for your comments....I will endeavour to continue to produce articles you enjoy.

  11. EWW.. Your article was great! The quoted facts are unreal - manipulate a 60:40 ratio to keep your man from feeling emasculated.
    I find myself in a 15 year marriage where I am no longer willing to hold myself back in order to let him shine and feel fine about himself.
    I've just finished writing Pretendia: Smash the Glass Slipper and Awaken to Your Best Self. It is all about women being inspired to be strong, capable and make their own dreams comes true(regardless of relationship status). The first question men ask me is "Is this a man hating book?" I answer, no I love men. The book is purely about women for women.
    I have realized in my research we simply cannot sacrifice our authentic self for the wrong man. The man who embraces you is the man who naturally embraces your strong and beautiful essence and does not make it mean anything about himself.

    1. I fully agree with you. I was in few relationships and realized that i made wrong choices according to men. All of them were very high ego centered furiously jealous about my happiness or even little successes. The question is how to find the right parner who will want to motivate you in your goals and be proud of you and your win situations?

  12. Are you kidding ? GOD is man. No man feels insecured to a woman. Period.Now you must give us absolute respect and we will allow you to think that you may lead some of us. OK?.Men will alway's rule the world.

    1. Your comment is under 1st class of primary school.


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