Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Are Men Threatened By A Successful Woman?



Or Just Plain Ashamed?  It's A Big Conversation 
Published by The Duchesne


A survey done by Cosmo magazine earlier this year produced some not so unusual findings. Of 1500 men questioned, 1 in 3 would much prefer to have the wife at home rather than out and working. This means over 66% of men unless they're mega earners, like the idea of a double income in the household.
There is a condition attached to that though; men prefer to be the higher earner.

It seems men can never put their egos aside for a minute, and if they do, then rest assured it'll only be for a minute. A lot of talk is happening in the Black community regarding successful, beautiful black women not being able to find a suitable mate. The reason stated is:

" Men are intimated by a successful Black woman."

But how true is this? And is this a problem for only the Black community?

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Sistas are doing it for themselves

Yes, women have taken the female revolution and ran with it like there is no tomorrow. Ever since women were allowed to earn for themselves, the goal was set. And that goal was to become what women call 'independent'. It has been achieved, men can't handle it, it's that simple.

It's not just the Black community. A lot of Caucasian relationships struggle or end due to jealousy of career on the husband's part. If we take a look at Hollywood, there are many Caucasian break ups that have been linked to the man not being able to handle how successful the woman's career is going.
Forget the race thing. This is a man thing.

Women are never jealous of their man's career. In fact, women will sacrifice theirs for their man. Why does the man have to be jealous of hers?
Men instinctively have a need to be the breadwinner or the main provider. They relish and want to be needed by their mate. The thought of knowing that their partner can 'dispose' of them at any time makes it very difficult for men to be comfortable with the idea of his woman earning higher.

High earning women are more likely to end up divorced says research
A 25 year study in America looking at the marriages and income of more than 2500 women showed women who made more than their men had a divorce rate 38% higher than others. The main reasons given were:

  • Financially independent women can leave a relationship easier
  •  Dented egos on both parts (man feels less of a man, woman sees man as less of a man
  •  Men who are more financially dependent on their partner are more likely to cheat (seeking to affirm their masculinity elsewhere where they feel they are looked upon as a man)
  •  Successful women may develop resentment towards their less earning partner therefore losing respect for him.

For a happy 'balance', Professor Jay Teachman of Western Washington University, who took part in the research, suggests there should be a 60:40 split in earnings.

But wait for it....... the man must be the higher earner! Go figure.


And then men wonder why women believe they are threatened by their success. The truth is, men are both threatened and ashamed; because at the end of the day, no man wants to be the man 'behind his woman'.



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Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Free Spirit or Just Promiscuous? A Woman Talks Of Her Lust

Poetry Corner
Published by The Duchesne



Free Spirit

They say I am a free spirit
I believe this is true
Did I give you my digits?
I might just give it to you

I do have a man at home
But damn you're attractive
He makes sure I'm never alone
Other guys are so addictive

He does everything for me
But I am in a constant battle
He loves me it's plain to see
Should I let our cage rattle?

I just can't commit right now
At the same time it's hard to cheat
I want to get out but how?
We have a child who's so sweet

Is it too late? Do I stay for the kid?
Or do I leave and be a free spirit
Start afresh and forget what I did?
But will I ever stop? Is this my habit?
Is it that I'm bad or am I just a FREE SPIRIT?





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Monday, November 01, 2010

Alcohol More Harmful Than Heroin & Crack. Why Then Is It Legal?


A Hypocritical Bureaucracy?
Published by The Duchesne

So there I was looking for strepsils in Marks & Spencer's when the headline hit me, "Alcohol more harmful than heroin, crack and cocaine says new study".
First thoughts; oh here we go again, another sensationalised headline. Seriously. If it's not one thing it's the next. They'll soon be telling us to stop eating oranges as it damages teeth enamel! Come on, get a grip people. We all know anything that is overdone can and will be harmful. It is all about moderation.

Not to bore you with statistics and facts but let's get to the headline. This came about from a research which shows that alcohol all round is more harmful than illegal drugs. The study showed that alcohol is 3 times more harmful as cocaine and concluded that if substances were classified according to the harm they do, then alcohol would be class A, along with heroin and crack cocaine. 

Having second thoughts yet about that drink you last had?  Well, the researchers will have to come a tad better than that say I. 
Like everything else in life, it's all about moderation.
I won't be giving up my bubble bath session (red wine in hand) just yet, or my barbecue picker upper! 

           

Alcohol consumption can be actually good for you as it reduces the risk of heart disease along with other diseases
The French for example, whose diet is considered to be very high in saturated fat have a notably low death rate from coronary disease. This has been put down to the high consumption of wine the French intake. Findings are the same across other Southern European countries. 

Red Wine contains resveratrol, a disease fighting,  and anti-ageing ingredient. In fact Red Wine was listed as one of the things that can make you live longer in a previous study. Studies also show that men can cut their risk of prostate cancer in half by having a glass per day.

  

What we must note,  is that the study that prompted this headline looked at the substances plus the wider harm they do to society in terms of environmental and socio-economic costs. These included health care, prison etc. The other substances were found to be the most lethal, however alcohol ranked higher for overall harm. 

The question - why is alcohol still legal if there is so much concern around the socio-economic effects? Bureaucratic  hypocrisy? 

That one is for you to ponder.

All I will say is; if you indulge in alcohol, don't start tossing out your wine, whisky, vodka or whatever just yet.  Just remember to keep it light and be responsible. Again, it's all about moderation. 
Shall we toast to that?



    


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