Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Marrying For Money- Why It May Not Be Gold Digging

Sugar Baby or Just his Baby?  In It For The Love of And Money.

-Why Did You Get Married?
Published by The Duchesne

It's no secret that many people marry for money these days. In this time and age marrying for money is no longer taboo and a question many women are faced with is: "Should I marry for love, or money?"

I am torn with an answer to this. On the one hand I am rooting for the underdog, the one who has nothing to offer but love. On the other, the number one cause of divorce is money worries or financial stress.
To help me make my mind up, I took to the streets of London and questioned some random people on the subject. I asked, "Should we marry for love or for money?"

Here are some of the answers I got:

Olu, Managing Consultant - "Love matters but we will not feel the excitement of love forever, there must be a strong sense of commitment and some financial stability to keep it going. Marry for both."

Andrew, Director - "If you had asked me 1 year ago, I would have said love. We got married for love but in the end got divorced because of money."

Sarah, Housewife - "Definitely love. Money is a selfish reason and love is selfless."

Dionne, Teacher - "Marriage is a contract so focus on the commitment. Will this person commit if the money goes? Will this person stick around if the love goes?  Marry for commitment instead of love or money."

Anita, Housewife - "It is easier to get the love down the line than it is to get the money. Marry for money. But I wouldn't call it money, I would call it stability."
Rashid, Factory worker - "I'd say love. Money can't buy happiness and the connection you get with someone you truly love."

Paul, Unemployed - " I don't think this applies to men. Men always marry for love, don't we?"

Samuel, CEO - "It's been said that the first time you marry it's for love. The second time is for money and the third time is just for fun. I think I agree with that saying."

James, Self Employed - "Many marriages start out with love and end because of money. Marriages that happen for money seldom end. Money seems to rule."

Out of the 50 people questioned; 20 said they would marry for both love and money, 10 said they would marry for money and 20 said they would marry for love. Of the 20 who said both, I pushed for them to choose one; all 20 chose money. Overall, 30 out of the 50 questioned would marry for money.

The decision to get married is an individual one and so is the reason. For each "I do", there will be various motivations. There is nothing wrong with desiring financial security. Likewise there is nothing wrong with desiring love unconditional.
It is difficult to find both and often it comes down to making a choice. 
Is a woman a gold digger if she places more value on financial standing than on love itself? Is a woman a fool if she places more value on love than on financial standing? 

Is it for for us to say who is right and who is wrong? What makes one person happy doesn't necessarily make another. Who are we to judge?
Ideally we all want to marry for love. However, love already has its share of problems; compound that with money worries and it's a near recipe for disaster.

I think I would want both Love and Money. But if I had to choose, I'd go with the teacher who said 'marry for neither, focus on the commitment'. For when the love and money goes, who will still be by your side honouring that contract?
And yes, love can go, but what you have left is trust, admiration, respect, and a lot of other variables that can bring back the love that was once shared.

In the end, marry for what is important to you, but you must be honest with the other person. After all, it's not gold digging if the other party knows you're in it for the money!

Questions or comments, please use the comment box or Contact page.

Photography, The Web


  1. Gold diggers married for money regardless of your findings..... Thats why so many marriages fail, gold diggers should be killed, especially those who trick men.

  2. I agree that 'tricking' someone is wrong. That is why the article advocates being honest. Some men marry a woman knowing she loves the money over him.

  3. Killed? Why would you want to kill someone for loving money? You must be a crazy person


The Duchesne appreciates your comments and feedback. Don't forget to leave your reactions and to follow and subscribe! Thank you for your support.